Posts tagged love
Anonymous asked: How did you meet your Owners? Is your age close to your owners?
This girl apologizes for not responding to this earlier, but it likes to be mindful of what it posts, and often leaves these questions in it’s inbox for a few days or a week while it thinks of what it wants to say.
Often when people ask about when a slave met its first Owner, the story they really want to know is about how the slave was broken. Believe this slave when it says it took a long time before it was fully entangled in Mistress Missy’s web. As a conservative girl in college, this girl believed, and still believes, in dominion of the strong over the weak, and was quite stubborn about not considering itself one of the weak. However, to quote Nine Inch Nails, “I have found you can find happiness in slavery.”
You did ask how this slave met its current Owner though, so this slave will indulge that specific query. The story of how it came to be domesticated and subjugated could probably fill a novel.
When this girl was new at college, it decided that it wanted to meet other queer girls, and hopefully fall in love. In the first week of college, this girl attended an LGBT meetup on campus. This girl was too shy and not assertive enough. The only person who took any interest in it, this girl was not interested in. This girl was too polite to turn down any conversation, but unfortunately it made this girl look as though it was engaged in conversation with this one person, and thus unapproachable by others who this girl might genuinely be interested in meeting.
It decided it would try meeting people online instead, so it began taking out online personals on multiple websites. It posted to craigslist, plenty of fish, okcupid, and some local forums. It used to post a small writeup, along with a picture with its face cutoff holding a sign with a hotmail address that it created specifically for online dating. When this girl was feeling particularly adventurous, it would post something a bit more naughty, such as “tie me up!” Often it would get anxious after leaving the computer, come back and erase the ad. It was one of these ads that attracted the attention of Mistress Missy.
This girl received several emails every day, mostly from straight guys fishing for nude pictures. These guys would share photos that they stole from sites like 4chan, or internet message boards, assuming that this girl is not a total pervert and hasn’t already seen those tits a thousand times. There were also several couples who were looking for another girl for a threesome. Occasionally this girl would get a genuine woman on the other end, but usually this girl found a reason to not like them.
This girl got an email within the first couple of weeks from a woman who included a verification photo and some information about her. She was very sexy and butch, but this girl did not like that she was a blue collar worker, this girl also didn’t like the way she acted.
The first email she sent, she basically said she could give this girl what it needed. This girl thought she sounded quite presumptuous, so it asked “and what do I need?” She replied with a basic definition of complete servitude that disgusted this girl so much that it deleted the email immediately.
As this girl thought about the contents of the email, it was angry at first. What a bitch? How dare she? What the fuck does she think I am? She doesn’t know me! Eventually though the day, the contents of the email swirled in its mind, and its anger was tinged with arousal. When it got home, it retrieved the email and read it again. It kept the email open as it looked at porn and masturbated. After cumming, it sent the email back to the recycle bin.
This cycle of reading the email, becoming disgusted, and erasing the email, continued for another week or two before this girl decided it would seek out a real Mistress, but not the one who sent it that email because this girl thought She was a presumptuous pompous bitch.
This girl began trolling sites such as fetlife, collarme, and bondage.com, and it wasn’t long before this girl went on its first date with a real woman interested in having a real D/s relationship. The woman was quite beautiful, she had black skin and was very overweight, her hair was well kept and in braids, and she wore a lot of makeup. She wanted to talk about limits, safety, and protocol. Over the course of the banal conversation, this girl realized that it did not want to meet just any Dominant woman, it wanted to meet the pompous bitch that had sent it that first email.
This girl sent Her a response, as well as an MSN messenger invite. This girl saw Her come onto MSN messenger and sent her a coy *poke* message. She said that this girl took to long to respond and She was uninterested in owning a self centered brat. Rather than apologize, this girl became angry and told Her that it was not interested in serving Her, although it used some profanity. She said if that was true, this girl could simply block Her on messenger. This girl logged off.
It took a few weeks before this girl built up the strength to apologize, and it was expecting to have to beg for forgiveness. It was surprised when She simply said “apology accepted.” It figured that it was getting somewhere, perhaps she really did like it. That brief hope for a pair bonding kinky relationship was soon dashed when this girl asked to meet Her. She made it very difficult to eventually arrange a date, She wanted to meet on webcam and Skype first. Eventually we arranged to meet at Starbucks.
She arrived about 20 minutes late, at the time this girl thought perhaps She is just not punctual, it later found out that is not true. During the meeting, She did not speak much. She asked a lot of questions about what interests this girl, what its limits are, what its experience level is, what communities it is involved in online, and what books it has read. She also asked it questions about what it was studying, what its goals were, and we talked about music. This girl realizes that this sounds like a job interview, but the way She conducted the meeting, it felt more like a therapy session or a girl’s night. At the end of the meeting, She said that if this girl wanted to meet again, to contact Her. She gave this girl Her phone number, and warned that if this girl wished for a second date, it would be required to submit to a forfeit, it has since learned that She uses these tiny forfeits, acts of submission such as wearing a short skirt or no bra, to build a level of trust and obedience.
The word “forfeit” played in this girl’s mind for a couple of weeks. What could it mean? Would She want to see this girl naked? Would She want this girl to do something degrading? Eventually this girl’s shame was overwhelmed by its need to submit, and it arranged for a second meeting…
This slave had an explosion of ideas to write about last night while it drifted to sleep. It was going to talk about its youth, the types of friends it attracted, and the things it did for fun. It then got an idea to talk about the nature of perverts, and certain themes and identifiers it has found usually denote a pervert. It then realized it had never really talked about its college years.
This girls college years were not all that remarkable. Aside from meeting Mistress Missy, and the play sessions with Her, it led a boring life. It had a job at a computer store, it spent a lot of its free time looking at porn, it didn’t have very many friends, but it did have a girlfriend. We will call her Nicole.
This girl first took notice of Nicole in the first year of college. She was beautiful, she had short blonde hair, 2 larger gauge piercings in each ear, plump lips, and the facial features of a typical Jewish girl. She had a look of familiarity as well, perhaps she had been in the cadets and this girl had seen her at a summer camp. These things aren’t what actually caught this girl’s eye though, beautiful girls were common on campus. What really caught this girl’s eye was the fact that she whore a rainbow bracelet and she had her pointer finger painted light blue. This girl knew a bit about flagging in the gay community, and knew that having a different colored nail polish on the pointer finger meantsomething. This girl wanted to talk to her, but was shy. Eventually, the urge faded.
Things progressed in the second year of college, when this girl was already involved with Mistress Missy on weekends. At that stage, the relationship this girl had with Mistress Missy was entirely sexual, all business, nothing else.
Nicole was in one of this girl’s classes. This girl started trying to show up late or just on time to lectures so she could sit within gawking distance of Nicole. She was so beautiful, she would wear tight t-shirts in soft colors, like pink or baby blue, and no bra, this girl could see that her flat chest had barbell pierced nipples. This girl would often stare at Nicole rather than pay attention to the lecture, and if Nicole would raise her head up from her laptop, this girl would look away.
Eventually, this girl got the nerve to talk to her. We were in the crowded hallway right after class, she was about 10 feet ahead, and about to head down a stairway. This girl sprinted through a group of people, into a little nook in the side of the hallway, tapped her on the shoulder and said “hey!”
She turned and stepped into the nook with this girl, “what?” was all she said.
This girl was a bit nervous, but it said what it had been thinking “you look familiar, were you a cadet?”
She bluntly stated, “no” followed by a short awkward pause, “you look kinda familiar too…. I think I remember…..”
That was the end of that exchange, this girl never asked her on a date, or to hang out. It was a bit awkward, she just said “I’m Nicole, I gotta go.” Then she was gone, this girl never even got to give her its name.
There had been a few other exchanges like that, but nothing really meaningful. It was always a bit awkward, this girl later found out that it made her as nervous as she made it.
One day, in the spring time, this girl was asked by some acquaintances/friends to play a prank on their dorm mate. They wanted to get the dorm mate with water pistols when she came home. This girl agreed, and met the friends at their dorm. This girl was given a water pistol, and told the plan. It wasn’t a very sophisticated plan, it mostly involved “when she comes in, get ‘er!” What this girl learned at the meeting was that the dorm mate was in fact Nicole. This girl was nervous, it didn’t want to upset the girl it had a crush on, so it hatched a scheme of its own.
When Nicole was heading to the dorm, this girl turned to one of the acquaintances and said “give me another water pistol, I got an idea!” It ran to Nicole and handed her the pistol and said “run run!”
The friends knew the jig was up, and started running after us with their much larger Super Soakers. This girl and Nicole were both shooting back with the dinky semi-translucent water guns we had, while laughing, screaming and searching for shelter.
She began to fall behind a bit, so this girl grabbed her hand. We ran into a common building, sort of like a meeting hall/community center. We didn’t know if we were still being chased, but we ran to the bathrooms. This girl opened the door to the handicapped washroom and pulled her in. She locked the door behind us.
This girl has talked about the connection in its mind between fear, adrenaline, and lust. In that moment of adrenaline, both of us out of breath, this girl was not even thinking. When Nicole turned to it after locking the door, this girl pecked her on the lips. It immediately regretted that decision, stammering “sorry, I…” It was cut off as she kissed it back….
This slave was going to give the abridged version of this relationship, because the most important part is how it ended, but there is a lot of this story to tell, and this girl doesn’t want to bore you will a wall of text. Perhaps it will place a bookmark here, and we can continue at a later date.
Something incredible happened yesterday. This slave doesn’t often go into the dirtiest details of its sex life. You may be thinking, “a slut with modesty, whatever” but it’s out of respect for this slave’s Mistresses. It writes its dirtiest thoughts in its personal journal that only they read, however, in order to understand what happened, this slave will have to be a little open about what its Mistresses expect of it.
This slave may get a bit of flack for over sharing, and psychoanalyzing its Mistresses, but it will share its feelings nonetheless. Mistress Missy and Mistress Siren are have a happy relationship, but their libidos and emotional needs are often at two different levels. They get sexual and emotional intimacy from each other, but they both have unique needs. That’s where Cherry comes in, because this slave’s only need is to make its Mistresses happy, and above all else, it craves to serve them, it can ‘top up’ the cravings of both Mistresses. Mistress Siren uses Her slave to satiate Her craving for emotional intimacy, closeness and companionship. Mistress Missy uses Her slave to satisfy Her libido and exercise Her sadistic side.
One of the things Mistress Siren and the slave Cherry do is have sleepovers. She and this slave usually do it when Mistress Missy works the graveyard shift. Mistress Siren will dress Her slave in comfortable pajamas, and this slave will give Her a pedicure and a facial, watch movies, bake, or just drink wine and talk.
Mistress Siren has been off work for the holidays, so this slave has been having sleepovers with Her quite a bit. Yesterday morning, this slave had been up for a few hours when Mistress Siren asked it to come back to bed and cuddle. This slave put on some pajamas and fell asleep with Mistress Siren, it woke up to Mistress Missy kicking it out of the bed.
It was a bit disoriented, but Mistress Missy basically wanted to be alone with Her wife, which is perfectly normal. Mistress Siren suggested that this slave could stay and we could all cuddle, which is an activity that this slave also enjoys, but Mistress Missy insisted on being alone with Her wife. When this slave got up to get out of bed, Mistress Missy saw this girl was wearing a set of Mistress Siren’s pajamas and accused Mistress Siren of coddling Her slave. Mistress Missy and Mistress Siren don’t really argue, but they do have heated, half joking, comedic exchanges. At this time, Mistress Siren sat up and wrapped Her arms around Her slave, and defiantly pulled it back into bed. Mistress Missy told Her slave once again to get up. This slave was nervous, knowing that whichever side it picked, the other would punish it. It decided to face the loving wrath of Mistress Siren rather than the sadistic wrath of Mistress Missy, it looked at Mistress Siren and said “sorry Mistress.”
Mistress Missy told it to go to its room and fetch the tawse from the cabinet. This slave was confused that it was being punished, it had obeyed Her! With the tawse no less, one of the most painful toys She owns! It retrieved the leather strap and returned to its Mistress, holding it in its outstretched hands, its eyes cast down at the corrective tool.
That’s when the amazing thing happened, rather than use the tool on Her slave, Mistress Missy grabbed the tool, playfully leaped into bed, and began wrestling with Mistress Siren! It wasn’t long before Mistress Siren was face down in the pillow and Mistress Missy was pulling up Her nightie. This slave just watched the commotion, stunned. It had heard Mistress Siren speak of being Dominated, as She has often shared the story of the time the wooden spoon was broken over Her bottom, but this slave had never actually witnessed Her being topped. This slave must have had its mouth agape, eyes wide, because Mistress Siren looked straight at it and let out a playful scream and laughed “not in front of the girl!”
That’s when Mistress Missy kicked Her slave out of the room. This slave went to its own room and tried to read, but it could hear the laughing and screaming coming from the next room. It was quite a shock to hear one of its Mistresses punishing its other Mistress.
Later that night, after Mistress Missy went to work, this slave knocked on the door of the master bedroom. Mistress Siren told it to come in and cuddle. It asked Mistress Siren if She had been spanked. Mistress Siren smiled and said “you already know the answer to that.” This slave asked what had been on its mind all day, if anything had changed because of it. Mistress Siren insisted that it was all in fun and didn’t mean that She was going to be subbing or anything. This slave asked if it could still be Her little girl, She assured this girl that it still is.
This slave would like to talk about kissing. There is certainly something submissive about allowing oneself to be kissed, not even a whore allows herself to be kissed on the mouth. The carnal function of kissing is to exchange saliva from one partner to the other, and this sharing of fluid is considered romantic. In a standard relationship, where each partner is equal, the submission goes both ways, each partner giving and taking each others saliva. A Dominant/submissive version of a kiss can be achieved simply by having the submissive receive the spit of its Mistress, without transferring any of its spit to Her. This works out well for the Mistress if the slave has sullied its mouth, as slaves often do, by licking boots, licking floors, licking orifices, or receiving fluids or cigarette ashes. This slave would romantically call this the slave Master’s kiss, a layman would call this spitting into someone’s mouth.
As a slave, when you are on your knees and your Mistress approaches close and asks you to face Her, She likely wishes to use your mouth. This slave has not been taught specifically to open it’s mouth when its Mistress straddles it, but it has learned through positive reinforcement and using its own initiative to do so. When She wishes to give Her slave a kiss, this is one time She will allow it to look into Her eyes. A kiss is an act of love, and romantically, you should be allowed to look each other in the eyes when such a gift is offered. If this slave can see She wishes to give it a kiss, it will extend it’s tongue to create a wider target. As She builds the kiss in her mouth, She will purse Her lips and open them slightly, allowing Her kiss to flow out. You would think that a kiss would have the consistency of water, and perhaps it is simply because such a loving act goes in slow motion for this slave, but it seems to flow slowly, creating a translucent string with tiny bubbles at the end, usually white, but sometimes a different color depending on what She has been eating. As the kiss approaches this slave’s face, it will close its eyes, as one does with a kiss. Sometimes the kiss does not end up on this slave’s tongue, She will give me a kiss on the forehead, on the nose, or on the cheek, this slave has learned to slowly raise it’s hands from behind it’s back, and push the kiss towards its mouth. It acts slowly, because She may wish for the kiss to stay where it landed. When this slave first received kisses in this fashion, it would have to be instructed to swallow, but now this slave will swallow a kiss without being prompted. This slave will then open its eyes and smile at its Goddess, often She will tell this slave to look at the floor, sometimes She will say “good girl.”
This slave is a little scatterbrained, but will try to post something significant anyway. Cherry isn’t sure what to write about, so maybe it will just write about yesterday. This slave went into the city, and got to visit Mistress Siren at work.
Mistress Missy took it into the gay neighborhood, and we looked at some toys and outfits at a gay leather store. Gay men do leather really well, and its unfortunate there aren’t more lesbians who are into that sort of thing. There are sex shops that cater to lesbian women, but the feel is not the same, it’s like amateur hour. Mistress Missy had Her slave purchase a string of anal beads. The first time this slave bought an adult product, a dirty magazine, before it was a slave, it tried to avoid eye contact with the employee, and it was asked for ID. It was kind of embarrassing. This slave is able to purchase sex toys or porn now while maintaining conversation with the clerk, and smiling the entire time, it is becoming entirely shameless.
Mistress Missy took Her slave to the place where its Mistresses get a lot of clothes made, and had it measured by a tailor. She didn’t tell Her slave what that was all about, but hopefully They plan to shower Their slave with gifts! Not that a slave is allowed, or has any reason to own property, but this slave’s birthday is next month, and its contract expires in two weeks. Maybe They plan to accessorize their slave, or give it some fabulous parting gifts. This slave has some ideas of what sort of things its Owners have in mind, considering the specialty of the store where it was brought and the hints that Mistress Missy has dropped, but doesn’t want to get its hopes up or spoil the surprise.
Mistress Missy then bought some nachos, and hand fed some to Her slave, which was fun. Last night Mistress Missy also painted Her slave’s nails fuchsia. It’s fun to be fussed over and spoiled by your Owner, and this slave imagines the Owner can have fun fussing over Their slave. This slave will use its Mistress’s car analogy, if You are well off, and You have an expensive car, You probably hire somebody to do the oil and filter service on the car. However, occasionally it’s fun to pop open the hood, get messy, and do some work on the car Yourself. This makes you feel a better connection to Your property, and perhaps You gain a better understanding of it as well.
This slave wanted to talk about the many roles of a slave, and how the Mistress/slave relationship can change depending on the whims of the Mistress. Some Mistresses will go through phases where they want their slave to provide the services of a girlfriend, a daughter, a pain slut, a prostitute (keep it safe and sane!), or a piece of arm candy, and the slave has to be prepared to provide that to its Owner. Perhaps when this slut gets its thoughts better organized, it could write a bit about that. This girl needs to find a better way to brainstorm and write out its ideas before it blogs about them.